Damn I hate Lynyrd Skynyrd

I can't think of a punishment much worse than being forced to go to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Don't get me wrong. I can live with the songs that were in Forrest Gump and Dazed and Confused. After all, I did come of age in the nineties, but come on. Let's get serious. In my prejudiced mind, when I see you walk down the street wearing a Skynyrd tour t-shirt, I'm thinking you failed the litmus test for having any intelligent social or political values, never mind having decent taste in music.

Admittedly, my hatred for Lynyrd Skynyrd has much to do with the modern incarnation of the band. Half the friggin' band died in a 1977 plane crash (including singer/songwriter Ronnie Van Zant). So, when you go see Skynyrd today, you are seeing two out of seven members of the '77 lineup. You're seeing a band that makes up for their lack of current relevance by pandering to the redneck fan base that is foolish enough to give them the time of day. They play the Republican National Convention. They drape the confederate flag all over their merchandise. They've made their sound less rock, more country - perfect for actually finding a place for airplay on Country Music Television.

They write songs like Red, White and Blue where coattail rider Johnny Van Zant (Ronnie's brother) sings "My hair's turning white, my neck's always been red, my collar's still blue, we've always been here just trying to sing the truth to you. Yes you could say we've always been, Red, White, and Blue."

Damn Johnny, you're a poet. Wait, it gets better. 

"Ride our own bikes to Sturgis.  We pay our own dues, smoking camels, drinking domestic brews."

Smart Sturgis reference by Johnny considering motorcycle rallies, where they play for actual regular Joes, are big gigs for Skynyrd. He forgets that he fell into a goldmine of a gig and didn't pay any dues, but what the hell.

The lyrical gold continues with "My Daddy worked hard, and so have I, paid our taxes and gave our lives to serve this great country so what are they complaining about. Yeah we love our families, we love our kids.  You know it is love that makes us all so rich. That's where we're at. If they don't like it they can just get the HELL out!"

We've got your basic love it or leave it crap. Johnny talks about the evil "they." This "they" must be people that actually read a newspaper or watch the news on occasion.

Maybe Skynyrd was a good band at one time. Maybe not, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Now they're a bunch of old dumb asses in leather cowboy hats that look like they should be downing Old Milwaukees at the Moose Lodge instead of being in a "rock" band. Even worse, they're making a buck off a legacy they didn't write and drumming up interest by embracing conservative white trash values.

So, if you were wondering if I want to go to that big Skynyrd show, I think I'll pass.